14 steps to success in your career
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When I was working in
my first leadership role as a director of key account management at L´Oréal –
and having been highly committed to manage a challenging business and a
talented team – our baby daughter was diagnosed with craniosynostosis.
To avoid
possible brain damages an immediate head surgery was required. As every parent
would, my wife and I discussed with doctors and medical experts to find the
right hospital and treatment.
When I sat there one
evening whilst our little one was crying in her rocking cradle, I was
contemplating about the upcoming surgery and her future. I was sorrow-stricken
and regretted the long hours I used to spend in the office, the countless
business trips I had made, and not having been at home as often as I should
have been. Of course, all of that with the very best intentions – To earn
sufficient money for a good living, to finance our own home, to secure a
pleasant lifestyle, to be successful, independent, and respected.
My beautiful wife has
always been very understanding and supportive. And whilst this eliminated some
of my guilty conscience, back then I´ve started to realize and appreciate the
true value of affectionate and caring relationships founded on love and mutual
respect. And most importantly, it dawned on me that to safeguard our family I
would have to permanently strive for spending as much time as possible with my
loved ones. Not allowing that my work and ambitions would take over our
personal lives and destroy our relationships and bonding; the actual source of
our energy and happiness.
Now almost 15 years
later, besides my regular job at Amazon I´m working in my spare time as an
executive coach to assist my clients – mostly ambitious, hard-driving
executives – to cope with similar challenges and conflicts. They´ve all
received multiple and often similar advices which they rationally understand:
To spend more time with family and friends, to do more sports, to learn how to
avoid stress, how to plan your tasks, how to delegate, etc. All very useful
concepts which can be found in various excellent books.
Still, many of them
struggle in finding the good balance and in investing enough time for
non-work-related activities. Mostly, because they´re not infusing enough time
and efforts in building lasting relationships from which they would receive
backing, encouragement and relief. There is neither a magic formula nor a
silver bullet to resolve this dilemma; especially for people in demanding
positions. However, what I can offer is a different perspective, i.e. providing
proven principles to better navigate one´s life and to concentrate more on
establishing sustainable and precious relationships to guarantee success
without personal regrets:
Be clear about what
you want to achieve in life. What do you want
to be known and famous for once you will have passed away? Do you want to
bequeath a big bank account to your offspring or do you want to be remembered
as an affectionate and loving parent, partner, friend, or mentor?
Be realistic about
work. It´s okay to work
hard, if you like it and if it gives you satisfaction. At the same time you
need to acknowledge that you cannot do everything. Otherwise, the results are
likely to be personally adversely and also not in the best interest of the
company.
Don’t seek perfection. Mankind is not perfect. You are not perfect. Your family,
friends, and colleagues have their shortfalls and make mistakes. And that´s
good! Recognize that from time to time you and others miss targets. Don´t hold
neither yourself nor others to ridiculously high standards. Instead aim at
continuous improvement initiatives.
Forget about
work-life-balance. You better start re framing that notion. Work and life are irrevocably interlinked. Find smart
ways to integrate the two of them efficiently and effectively. Don´t waste any
energy on trying to rigorously separating them.
Live the moment and be
in the moment. When you are
with your loved ones and friends give them all your attention and be present
with all your senses. Only be there for them. Switch off any work-related
devices and thoughts. Practice mindfulness.
Be willing to give,
share and support. And not just
take or receive. Listen more than you talk. Try to listen with more than two
ears. Enjoy being a sounding board. Be proactive and establish yourself as a useful
resource.
Admit mistakes. Apologize for them and present a plan how to get back on
track. It´s okay not to know everything and not to try being too professional.
Stay authentic, human, and vulnerable. That makes you approachable and like able.
Be tolerant and learn
to like people. You can´t love
everyone, but you can teach yourself to like others. Especially those who are
different to you by being willing to open your mind up to different opinions
and change. And by being generous and forgiving.
Make it personal. Appreciate others. Don´t praise yourself. Instead, never
forget who got you where you are. Express thanks and gratitude as often as
possible to friends, colleagues, business partners, clients, and customers.
Be transparent and
encourage constructive criticism and honest feedback. Be brave enough to comment and to suggest improvements
whenever you feel doing so.
Walk your talk. When you say you´re going to do something, then do it.
Meet your deadlines. Be always a reliable partner. As such eliminate (bad)
surprises. That builds trust.
Set up an easy,
non-complicated system to ensure that
you connect with your contacts on a more or less regular basis. Sometimes it
might only be writing one short mail. Maybe even one sentence or one short SMS.
There´s no reason that you have to write a two page letter to stay in contact
with someone.
Look after yourself. Only if you are happy, satisfied and in-synch with
yourself you can establish well- functioning and sincere relationships. Spend
enough time on whatever gives you this special kick: sports, a drink with
former college buddies, enjoying a relaxing spa and/ or beauty treatment,
reading a good book, etc.
Don’t take yourself
too seriously. You are
replaceable. So am I and all of us. Enjoy yourself and show those around you
that you know how to have fun. It only takes a few muscles to smile. Humor –
including the ability to laugh about oneself – is a great teacher!
Living a happy and
fulfilled life comes from being willing to work sedulously on building mutually
beneficial relationships. Relationships with family, friends, colleagues, and
business partners. Without having those it´s impossible being successful
without regrets.
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